Big Brother returns

That's right, the show which is so bad it's only watched by the very stupid and the highly intelligent, starts its seventh series tonight on Channel 4, with a guarantee of further rehashes and cheaply-produced chat shows across the C4 network. Big Brother is a fascinating TV programme, so don't trust anyone who never watches it. They're either lying or they lack that essential human urge to observe. Either way, they're completely untrustworthy.

The marvel of Big Brother now must be how much further the programme's producers seem willing to push competitors than when the show began. Back in series one, we the public were satisfied with dull monotony: the study of caged human animals. Now we desire blood and sputum, exposed buttocks and bitch fights. I don't believe that Big Brother will end with the death of one or all of its short-lived 'stars'. No, it is you and I who die a little watching this awfulness. But that's exactly what makes it so compelling. Every time a dumb brunette gets a word wrong; every time a 'sensible' chap decides to take charge - and fails miserably; every time a male model claims that his opinion has some intrinsic value, even though that opinion is patently even inherently worthless: we are offered the false choice of becoming one with the stupidity or pretending to be above it.

We're all down there already.

Big Brother starts tonight at about 9 or something on Channel 4.
For a fascinating read, try Neil Hagerty's Big Brother diary from 2000. No explanations, no rewards.

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