Monthly Archives: April 2007

Modbury, rain and seeds and stems

Sunday - 29 April 2007

We've got yet another low-pressure system overhead now, so after a week or so of good weather, it's back do murky drizzle. By accident of birth, this weather isn't too depressing for me. Having grown up in south Devon (in England), drizzle and overcast skies act as a fond reminder of my halcyon days (which were mainly spent strolling through woods and fields, smoking cheap hashish and listening to John Peel's radio show, taped from last week). My town, by good fortune, was featured in an article in yesterday's Guardian. It's to become the first plastic bag-free town in Europe! Go Modbury!

I've never written much about Modbury because I've not lived there in a long time. Gemma and I try to have every other Christmas out there and we're going over for a friend's wedding in July. Modbury's a lovely place: built around two steep streets and a handful of pubs and farms, it's an up-market holiday spot for media types and city traders. The countryside around it (particularly the private Flete estate) is sublime and at times, Modbury feels like it might be the best place in the world. When you're fifteen, however, it can be a bit boring.

Idle hands do the Devil's work. Perhaps all fifteen year-olds are permanently bored or listening to rock music? Just like most teenagers, we invested quite a lot of time and effort into getting stoned. Unlike today's lucky youths who are generally able to lay their hands on hydroponically-farmed, acutely psychoactive sticky bud, in Modbury we seemed to be mostly confined to 'soap bar', the crappiest, least pure hash produced anywhere in the world. In many ways, it's remarkable that we stuck at it. Sometimes, we walked for miles to buy a 'teenth' (1/16 of an ounce) – but then we had nothing better to do, so probably we would have been walking around aimlessly anyhow. Still, I guess that even though we didn't realise it at the time, we were extremely lucky with where we grew up.

I am also very lucky to be living here in the suburbs of Barcelona. We're very close to the Collserola park (a protected, forested bit of rocky parkland behind Barcelona), have a lovely terrace with plenty of afternoon sun, and Cerdanyola seems to be on the up and up at the moment. If you're looking for a flat in Spain, make sure it's got a terrace. This multi-functional extra wing of the house acts as a scullery, garden, dining room, sun deck and marijuana production facility (among many other things). There are few better things to do in April than spend a weekend in Amsterdam, fly back with some 100% feminised 'White Rhino' and 'Great White Shark' seeds and plant them. We have high hopes for this year's crop (mainly because of the price of the seeds).

There is, however, one major problem with growing weed on your terrace (and I'm not talking about the… slightly shady legality of the enterprise). The biggest issue we've encountered so far (and it has become worse every year) is caterpillar infestation. This little bichos seem to love prime buds more than anything else in life. A brisk shake of the plant will get most of them off but it can also damage the plant's stems and reduce the number of precious crystals on your crop. Insecticides should never be used on your weed, and particularly not during the flowering and fruiting stage. So this year, I'm going to employ biological weapons. It's possible to by ladybirds and other voracious predators via mail order. I haven't tried it before and I'm a little worried about my ladybirds flying away, just like my parrot did. But it's worth a try. If you've got any other anti-caterpillar advice, I'm all ears.

Feliç Sant Jordi!

Monday - 23 April 2007

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Sant Jordi always seems to usher in the good weather, and this weekend was no exception. It reached 30 degrees on the terrace yesterday! Don't forget to buy a rose and a book for your loved one (we don't dig discrimination at thebadrash.com!)

What can you do with a broken heart?

Sunday - 22 April 2007

Everything was going so well. Yesterday morning, Neil spent an hour or more sitting on my shoulder before I put him outside (out of his cage) with a grape. I needed to eat my breakfast too. While normally a noisy bird, his shrieks generally came in ones or twos, and normally seemed to be saying not much more than "Come here and let me sit on your shoulder again, where I will clean myself". So when he uttered five or six shrieks in quick succession, I figured it was a distress call of some sort. Just as I made it onto the terrace, he was off: flying faster than I'd seen before (he was usually a bit nervous flying).

As he flew away, I noticed two things that might have scared him: a huge gull had just flown over the terrace and I guess it could have looked like some sort of predator. Indeed, it probably is. I'm not sure what type of gull it is, but I can remember herring gulls in Devon being pretty nasty. Also, my 80 year-old neighbour, Fina, had stuck her head round the divide between our terraces to try and get a look at Neil. My theory is that one of these two or a combination of both) scared him and made him fly away. The sad thing is that we'd just built a bond with this bird and had started to consider him a member of the family. Though at the same time, we we were aware that the 'open cage' system might prove ineffective, still, we were at least agreed that it was morally better. We've seen him about five or six times since then, flying around on his own (and looking quite lost) but I find it unlikely that he'll come back to us.

So what have we learnt from this experience? Simple: never let anyone into your heart because they'll just leave. Only kidding! The main thing I've learnt is how nice it can be to have a bird as a pet (it never really clicked with me before), and also just how many birds there are around here… it's really opened my eyes! If I see Neil again, I-ll be sure to mention it.

House guest

Thursday - 19 April 2007

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Prior to leaving work this evening, I received a call from Gemma telling me that there was "A parrot on the terrace". Assuming that it would be gone by the time I made the 10 minute walk back to our apartment (yes, life's hard), I urged Gemma to take some photos of this strange new visitor.

Upon my arrival at home ('the ranch'), I made a beeline for the terrace to see whether our new friend was still around. He was! (It's worth noting here that we've given the bird male nomenclature purely because a decision had to be made. His argumentative attitude and, later, manic attempts to gain entry to the house, seemed to confirm our initial decision).

My initial thoughts were that we should (a) get rid of him by chasing him off the terrace ; or (b) buy a cage and keep him. Gemma, as is her wont, wouldn't go with either option. She fed him some apple and water while I plotted to catch the creature in a tea towel or washing tub. The bird, who stayed put most of the time, suddenly became very nimble and evasive when I was brandishing tools of capture instead of pieces of apple. At one point, he swooped on me and clung to my back as I went back into the sitting room. I must say that I shrieked and ran, thinking that he was intent on a Hitchcock-style revolution; my cowardice would have made Flashman proud.

Eventually, Gemma went down to one of the local pet shops and asked about cages. The Jandaya Conure (for that is what he seems to be) apparently needs a big cage (surprise, surprise) which costs €60. We didn't get it, but he's sleeping right now outside our bedroom window. Apparently, these birds are worth €350… so it's likely that someone is looking for Neil. I think I'm going to end up buying a cage tomorrow, unless he leaves us at dawn.

We're off to Amsterdam!

Wednesday - 11 April 2007

thebadrash.com is taking a thoroughly undeserved break by jetting off to Amsterdam for a long weekend. We're really looking forward to it as neither of us have been. If anyone has any useful travel hints (other than "Don't buy the most expensive weed on the menu" – as if I'd do that!), feel free to leave a comment.

Back next week.

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They don't like it up 'em!

Sunday - 8 April 2007

Things have been very quiet on thebadrash recently, mainly because I've been pretty busy with my actual job. Also, I spent most of March having interesting conversations (putting the world to rights) with my mate Chris, who was visiting us. We disagree on some pretty important issues like the Iraq war, but could at least agree on a sense of disgust with the tenets of post-modernism. It's good having someone to talk to at some length on these issues, though, because they can help one to establish just what it is that one believes in and holds to be important, especially in the sphere of political philosophy.

While all this high falutin chinwagging has been going on, I've taken my eye off the ball of Spanish news for a fulll six weeks. Quite enjoyable it was, too. And yet, this has been an interesting time for events and news. About six weeks ago, we saw yet another anti-government demonstration masquerading as having something to do with victims of terrorism. I've spent more than enough of my time dismissing these spectacles (and besides, there are people who write on the subject far more eloquently and accurately than I could), but it was the words of Spanish media tycoon, Jesus de Polanco which seem to have caused the biggest impact linked to these protest marches. De Polanco, owner of the Prisa group (which includes the pro-Socialist El País newspaper and Cadena Ser radio station) said after the demo that we had just witnessed a demonstration which consisted of "pure, hard Francoism". The PP have since refused to have any contact with any outlets of the Prisa empire, until de Polanco apologises for this insult.

Clearly recognising that this was just the latest episode in the continuing saga of the radicalisation, PP deputy Joaquín Calomarde wrote an article in El País which not only went against his party's boycott of the paper but also heavily criticised its obvious lurch to the right wing, away from the centrist position he believes it should have adopted. The same day this article was published, Calomarde was sacked from his committee jobs as a PP spokesman (ostensibly to help him deal with the hepatitis he's been suffering from for years).

Just as in any other democracy, it's normal to see different opinions on key matters in Spanish and Catalan political parties: defence minister José Bono resigned from his ministry when the PSOE gave backing to the Catalan statute of autonomy. A Spanish nationalist, he felt he couldn't remain a part of a government committed first to democracy and second to the nation state. Similarly, parties like ERC, CiU and other nationalist/regional blocs spend nearly all their time embroiled in tortuous debates over what exactly they stand for. With the PP, the debate over which direction the party should take seems to have taken over any actual idea of developing policy. The division between centrist-conservatism and post-Francoist rightism starts right at the top of the party, with the far right seeming to control that party's public image at the moment. Deputies like Calomarde are not seen as helpful and are punished for speaking out, even though they're very much in touch with current concerns over just what the PP is up to.

A lot more has happened over the last few weeks, and I'll try to catch up on some of it over this holiday weekend. In the meantime, it's worth taking some time to consider how it is that we get two days off every year to mark the alleged execution and resurrection of a fictionalised prophet some two thousand years ago. Weird, huh?

Ahmadinejad: Happy Easter, UK

Wednesday - 4 April 2007

well that was pretty mental… it looks like Pres. Ahmadinejad of Iran has just freed those Royal Navy sailors and Royal Marines who did/didn't enter Iranian territory the other day. He said it was an Easter present to the UK.

His speech was quite interesting at times, but marred somewhat by his customary anti-Semitism.

Boiler room

Tuesday - 3 April 2007

Good lord, this post at Guirilandia brings back memories. I actually only did for one day. You see, I'd spent months as a door-to-door salesman in Australia and felt my self-loathing and sales-averse scale achieve record levels in just a few hours. I never picked up my 'salary', though I don't doubt that they'd have made a fuss about it. Anyway, read the post because, as usual, it's excellent.

Gemma and I are going to see Cansei de Ser Sexy on Friday. You're welcome to join us… €12 ain't bad for one of the hippest pop groups of the year (as far as you know). Next weekend, we're after that transgenic shit in Amsterdam, followed by staring at Van Gogh paintings for hours on end. Nice!