"One World, One Dream" - against totalitarianism

There's something in me that switches off when pro-Tibet protesters hang a banner off San Francisco's Golden Gate bridge, declaring "One World, One Dream: Free Tibet". One world, one dream, eh? I mean what does that even mean? That the whole world wants Tibet to be free? That the 'one world' is united in that 'one dream'?

Photo from sfthqphotos, at Flickr

Tibet and its treatment at the hands of Chinese authoritarianism is an important issue. But 'One World, One Dream'? If the protesters had wanted to make a decent point, they'd have opposed the Oympic Games all together. 'One World, One Dream: Bread' would have moved me a lot more.

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Air travel and dehumanisation

We had a wonderful weekend in England. London is a fantastic city where I'd like to spend more time. But our departure from Stansted airport did much to cement  certain views I've held about air travel for some time now.

Modern air travel is cheap and quick. It also used to be fairly simple but in the last year or so, it has become an increasingly complicated way of travelling. The trouble started with check-in. We joined the queue for our flight shortly after check-in opened. We spent about an hour and a half queueing because of the ineptitude of the woman at the easyJet desk. She was phenomenally slow and left her post for nearly half an hour after claiming that a passenger with dark skin didn't have the correct documentation. His Spanish passport was eventually, grudgingly accepted and the queue continued to shuffle on at the rate of one passenger served every five minutes.

A sign by the check-in desk warned passengers to allow at least 40 minutes to clear security - making clear that the onus is on the passenger to make sure that (s)he gets to the gate on time. In this case, though we had joined the queue as it began, we cleared security with about 10 minutes to spare. At least five passengers toward the end of the queue checked in but were then delayed in the security check phase. They were kicked off the flight and the flight's captain gave us a patronising lecture about leaving enough time to get onto the plane. Perhaps he didn't know that the five passengers whose luggage had to be removed from the flight were delayed because of one of his own colleague's ineptitude.

Next, we approached the security check. This is the biggest recent change to modern air travel. Apparently, current rules (introduced in the wake of various terrorist attacks and attempts), insist that every passenger be put through a series of humiliating trials which test whether they're a terrorist or not. Herded like cattle on their way to the slaughterhouse (or at the very least, the dipping tank), passengers wait in line until shouted at to proceed. Queues appear and disappear as stewards marshall people this way and that like shepherds call sheep. Belts must be removed, jumpers and jackets too. Personal possessions are laid out for all to see in black metal trays for the x-ray.

Next, we are forced to walk guiltily through a metal detector so inefficient that it failed to detect my wedding ring, 2lbs of coins and bulky metal watch which I had elected not to put through the x-ray. The girl in front of me had three bottles of sun cream which were confiscated, obviously because they might have been used for the production of high explosive. After the indignity of dressing myself again in public, I was herded down the next roped-off passageway only to be told to remove my shoes. By this point, I was getting really annoyed. "For Christ's sake!", I said as I pulled my trainers off - all the while being told by the woman at the shoe checking desk that I should 'move out of the way'. This woman obviously noticed my irritation and said to me in a very obviously challenging way, "You seem very angry, sir".

That short sentence made it clear that the exhibition of emotion of any sort was suspicious and deserved being challenged. I have no doubt whatsoever that if I had remonstrated with her over that fact that only half of the passengers were being screened in this way (the rest were allowed to just walk straight past), I would have been questioned - and probably by one of the police officers armed with huge semi-automatic rifles.

My problem here is not with security per se. I'm aware that there's a small number of people out there who want to blow aeroplanes up. I'm also aware, however, that 50% of passengers could just walk through the shoe-checking phase. That I carried loads of metal through the metal detector without it noticing. That I could buy a tennis racket or bottle after security which could realistically be used as a weapon on an aeroplane. That it's by no means inconceivable that a terrorist network could infiltrate airport shops and make sure that a bottle of water, perfume or shampoo that actually contained the ingredients for explosive were placed on shelves for the right person to buy. In short, I don't believe that the security in modern airports is particularly effective. It still contains multiple holes which could easily be exploited by a committed terrorist cell.

In truth, I believe that these security checks we all have to undergo are part of a campaign of psychological warfare, the object of which is not to protect us but to cow us. The series of controls act more than anything else as steps in a process of dehumanisation and humiliation which never fail to conjure up the feeling of the emotions we might experience as we queue for access to the camps.

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Idiocracy: reasons not to like Kate Nash

Gemma and I recently watched the 2006 film Idiocracy and I can't recommend it enough. Luke Wilson plays the most average man in the US armed forces, who is selected for a top secret experiment into freeze-drying humans. He was meant to be awoken after a year but - you guessed it - ends up being frozen  for 500 years. In the meantime, various factors combine to cause the human race to gradually become more and more stupid. They replace water with Gatorade, watch films called things like 'ASS' (which features one close-up of a man's arse farting for 90 minutes) and are governed by an incredibly vain former pro-wrestler. Actually, it felt more like 50 years in the future than 500, but you get the point.

Shortly afterwards, we watched 5 minutes of Big Brother on Channel 4 and switched off, shocked. Yes, Big Brother was stupid before we ever saw Idiocracy but it had always at least seemed funny. Not any more. Society really does feel like it's getting stupider. Dumbing down, it's often called. BBC Breakfast has been reduced to a 2-hour commercial for forthcoming BBC television programmes. Car surfing is the new cool pastime. Kate Nash is in the charts.

There are many reasons to dislike Kate Nash. Her popularity, for example, or her chart success. It would be perfectly acceptable to dislike her for sounding very similar to Lily Allen - the dropped-aitches of their mockney accents are particularly grating. But none of these things make me dislike Kate Nash as much as her lyric:

You said I must eat so many lemons
Cos I am so bitter

You see, lemons aren't bitter. They're sour.  Now I'm not the first to point this out but I am probably the first to waste half an hour writing a blog post about it. That lyric renders an already poisonously self-involved and poorly structured song so infuriating that I nearly wept when I first heard it. Last time I heard it, I immediately thought of Idiocracy.  I mean, sure, there have always been bad pop lyrics around but this young woman is being lauded on all sides. She's being given recognition and praise for a songwriting talent that just doesn't exist.

Another thing I don't like about Kate Nash is her use of the gender card. Responding to yet another suggestion that she might sound a little bit like Lily Allen, Nash  said:

It's lazy journalism and also quite sexist that there's not enough room for more than one female singer songwriter from London

No, Kate: the reason that people are comparing you to Lily Allen is because you sound more or less exactly the same as her. It's not sexism at all and I reckon it's pretty low of you to use such a fallacious claim in order to divert attention away from your rubbish music.

So, yeah, I don't like Kate Nash.

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Time to go!

It's been time for Tony to go since he lied to the House of Commons about WMDs and so on. But now will do, too. Not content with becoming the first Prime Minister ever to be questioned by police, Blair can now claim to be the first Prime Minister ever to be questioned twice by police! Do we really have to wait until he's the first Prime Minister to be sent to jail?

The timing of yesterday's 'terror' arrests seemed to be very convenient too. At midnight, the main story was Levy being arrested again but by 8 a.m. the terror raid had swept everything else to the side. I'm not exactly alleging a conspiracy but the raid was handled by a government depratment….

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All this environmental stuff

I know I'm meant to be worried. Sometimes I do worry. And I'm glad that the news is talking about climate change and pollution again. I do consider it to be a far greater risk to my life than, say, 'international terrorism'.

But when it comes down to it, I'm not planning to do much to help to deal with climate change, CO2 emissions, etc etc. There are a few reasons that I've come to this conclusion and the first is that stupid one I always criticise other people for using: I cannot make any difference so there's no point bothering.

Now, before you say I've lost my mojo, just think. Given that I already conserve energy in a loose, easy sort of way at home, I'd say that my energy consumption is probably average for Spain. The new TV uses a lot of juice but then I never drive. If I managed to reduce that energy use to nil, the resulting effect on the overall consumption of energy in Spain (or in Catalonia or Barcelona, for that matter) would be so infinitesimally useless and pathetic that all I would really have succeeded in achieving would be ruining my quality of life by forcing myself to eat raw vegetables and lentils soaked in (spring) water over night. Never mind the emissions that a diet like that would cause.

A popular statistic around at the moment is that if the UK closed down all their CO2-emitting power stations, it would take China only six months to fill in the gas gap that we'd left behind. What about India and China together?

The problem with climate change is that there is literally nothing any of us can do to help the situation. Why not recycle? Did you know that most of the stuff you recycle ends up in land-fill? Gemma and I recycle religiously… it's something to do, you know? And yet I know that it's a complete waste of time.

When it comes down to it, the single worst thing I ever do to the environment is air travel. I like to fly to places. It's much quicker than taking a canoe or a bullock-cart. It's selfish of me and I know it's not helping but I like to see my parents once a year if I can. How else am I going to do that? If I forswear that I'll no longer fly then I guess they'd eventually fly out to see me here. So what would I have achieved then? I've got two sets of parents (both parents and both step-parents), a brother, a sister, a step-sister and two half-sisters. By my refusing to fly, I'd force them to fly. So there's no point bothering with it.

My other reason for not helping any more than I already am is skepticism. I've got a sneaking suspicion that things aren't quite as bad as Al "I couldn't even beat George Bush in an election I'd won" Gore would have us believe. The initial warnings on climate change, emissions and environmental damage which came out thirty years ago warned about very similar consequences and that it would be too late by 2006. Well, we haven't done a single thing about it and now we're being told we've got more time, even though the picture being painted is that things are even worse than we thought they were.

My point is: either we're already screwed, or the science isn't completely right. If the science is right, we're already too late to do anything. While this doubtless smacks of lazy refusal to do more to combat climate change, it's something I've struggled with for a long time. I was a real environmentalist a few years back and I'm still pissed off that Bush didn't ratify Kyoto. So what's changed? I got so sick of the religiosity behind the environmentalist movement that I started to question it. My central belief when it comes to politics has become: whatever people keep saying over and over again, mistrust it.

So that's it. I'll keep up with the useless recycling, the energy saving light-bulbs, the public transport and the support for green alternatives to burning coal for electricity production. But I'm going to keep up with my air travel, my expensive, energy hungry gadgets, the coal fire at home in Devon in the winter, putting the heater on, using the tumble-dryer etc etc etc. I make no apologies. I'm just sick of the whole business.

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What is a 'guiri'?

Andrew, aka Guirilandia (which is, let's face it, the best BCN blog there is), has written an astute article about the label many of us are given daily… and unfairly.

If only he could get Larry Kovaks on the case… too bad they don't know eachother.
I have been drinking a little Anis de Marseille. Penalties, for Christ's sake.

Incidentally, we've had a record few days here. Clearly my World Cup hogwash went down well. God bless.

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The PP loves victims of terrorism

During their time in power as well as during their disgraceful period in opposition, the PP have put nearly all of their energy into dividing Spain. Their constant jibes and threats - targeted against not only the left-wing but against distinct national groups within Spain - have changed this country and have increased tensions between Catalans, Basques, Spaniards, immigrants, conservatives, liberals and socialists.

This is a typical modus operandi for a one-policy party. Political entities of this type have no real philosophy or plan behind them other than the manufacture of fear among the populus. And they're very successful at it. Intelligent, reserved Spaniards and Catalans whom I know are hesitant to pursue their own political goals because of a perceived threat that if modernisation of this country 'goes too far', the right wing will ruin things again.

The PP use this fear to divide the people of Spain. They use it to radicalise Spanish politics. These methods only ever benefit the PP and are all the more disgraceful because they are merely a means to attempt to regain power: as we have made very clear before, the PP does not believe in anything except its own right to control Spain.

To try and derail peace talks between the government and ETA, peace talks which the PP have already agreed to, purely in order to win political points, is the most abhorrent and repulsive act so far committed by this party. Their aim is clearly to gain power at all costs: even if it means that the streets of Spain run with the blood of more victims of terrorism. To call the PP simply power-hungry and divisive is to miss the point. The PP care so little for the people of Spain that they would rather see them dead than alive; if it meant that they controlled la Moncloa. So the question now is whether you'd like to see more victims of terrorism or fewer. The PP know which they'd prefer, and that's why they're trying to provoke more violence.

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Tigers in my bedroom

tigermosquito.gifLast night was awful. That's why I'm in on a Friday evening. Last night was horrendous.I'm not sure if these buggers have made it into the city… perhaps this is the price you pay for living in the suburbs? I'm talking about the tiger mosquito.

The tiger mosquito made it to Sant Cugat about two years ago. Last year, they crossed over to Cerdanyola and my bedroom. They don't care if it's daytime or darkness. They have absolutely no respect for the rules. For example, if I switch my anti-mosquito air freshener on, the tigers don't give a toss. They find a spot where they can't smell the noxious fumes and bite me anyway. If I liberally apply insect repellent (as I did last night), they find the patches of skin I missed and bite me there. In fact, they even bit me on parts I had 'protected' last night. (I'm talking about my elbow, perverts). And when they bite me, they suck for England. I develop huge, swollen whelts which itch and weep for a week.

As much as I love the arrival of summer, it always heralds the arrival of the tigers. To be fair, the other mosquitos get their share too, but it's the tigers who are particularly successful in their invasion… in fact, one just landed on my hand. Nice. Even smoking extra strong cigarettes and joints does nothing to deter them.

I admit that it's not just the tigers. I have sweet blood which all biting insects seem to savour as if I'm sort of bug-Bullí. I feel like I should apply for mosquito Michelin stars. I've tried eating marmite, but they seem to like that even more. Gin and tonic, while not technically an insect repellent, is my new project. Even if it doesn't stop them biting me, at least I'll be too pissed to hear their horrid screaming in my ears. Tiger mosquitoes drove me to drink.

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briefly… a stupid man

Another target for the rotten egg list, if ever there was one, is Jorge Valí­n. This guy, writing in the happily far-right-wing Spain Herald (whose John Aust I have grown to like, to a fashion) considers a poll result which has 75% of French youths expressing a desire to work in the civil service.

This 75 percent naively believes that employment is the same as wealth and production, but a job where you don't do anything (and this is the aim of civil servants) adds no value to the community.

Well, Jorge, tell that to my future parents-in-law, who work hard at the Autonomous University of Barcelona. Tell it to my father, who rose to a high rank in the Royal Navy and Royal Australian Navy. Tell it to the millions of people in Spain, Catalonia, the UK and rest of Europe who work hard every day in the service of their country. It doesn't matter whether you come from a background which disapproves of a large civil service: you can't dismiss a major sector of civil society as workshy scroungers.

If the quality of journalism has sunk so low at Libertad Digital, perhaps they ought to consider a witch-hunt for scroungers in their own offices. There must be thousands of readers out there thinking: "Write reactionary bullshit for a living? I could do that!".

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Que! What?

Barcelona has a handful of free newspapers which are handed out to commuters on the metro, left in shop doorways and cafés or dumped on porteros' desks. As might be expected, the free newspapers vary somewhat in their quality, ranging from Metro (a global giant in its field) and the new (and politically uncertain) ADN to the impossibly silly Que!

[I've never really been happy with the Spanish expression 'que!' because it seems wrong to me. As ought to be obvious, I'm no linguist... but the exclamation mark in 'que!' really pisses me off. I understand that it's something which is said in an exclamatory way, but it's also definitely a shortened question. There's another publication, some sort of prensa rosa deal, called 'Que Me Dices!' - more of the same, but somehow even worse. If I said in English "What the hell are you talking about?", it would obviously remain a question, however exclamatory or rhetorical. Linguists, please explain.]

Que! is a brightly coloured, giant headlined monster. It consists of the sort of right-wing, sensationalist campaign-driven 'news' 'coverage' which makes The Sun look good. Normally they'll approach the main story of the day with a no-nonsense, loudmouth style leader which sounds like it has been written by one of the portly and high-volume matrons who live in my apartment building. "String 'em up!" and "It's the immigrants" are hypothetical examples. Incidentally, when there isn't much to complain about, the paper will invent a campaign of its own and stick to that for weeks if necessary, until a juicy atrocity comes along.

Today's three page campaign is about 'the crisis of delinquency' among the country's children. Ostensibly about the implementation of a new law that allows courts to jail parents of criminal children (cos that'll sort things out), the paper has an interesting slant on things. Accompanying the story are a range of statistics and pictures of delinquents. Every single picture features 'eastern European' or 'Roma' people. While there's no doubt that some eastern Europeans and Gypsies commit crimes, there was no evidence given as to what percentage of delinquency cases are related to people of Romanian origin. The clear intention was to link the two in the minds of bleary-eyed readers on their 8am commute to the city.

That is to say, the entire article discussed one problem - the increase in anti-social beaviour among Spain's youth - but the pictorial told a very different story indeed. This sort of semi-overt racism is commonplace in the pages of Que! and El Mundo, and does nothing to cure the growing problem of racial prejudice in Spain. I should note that there is a specific story relating to some Romanians being in court today for running thief gangs in Madrid, but that this was not the focus of the main article which dealt with 'delinqunecy' in general.

So, not only is Que! rubbish, but it's also full of racially suggestive messages. perhaps not that surprising, but well worth pointing out as often as possible. Personally, I'm hard pushed to find a single newpaper I like in Spain or Catalonia.

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Spain Herald - constructing insanity

Today's highlight in the Spain Herald comes not from John Aust's spasmodically mental Iberian Notes (which he seems to be paid for), but from Isabel Durán who is, I believe, the team's only female mentalist.

To work for the Spain Herald, you need to pass a series of exhaustative interview phases. First of all, you have to be a right winger… obviously, you couldn't be a homosexual (I mean socialist) and write for such a tough, no nonsense publication. Next, you have to spontaneously vomit on seeing an image of Josep-Lluís Carod Rovira. It doesn't matter if it's a picture of him in his swimming trunks: you must vomit immedaitely and then sream and scratch the picture until it's gone. Only then can you try the third stage. This is the one where you're shown a black card, and have to say it's white. But you really have to believe it too.

So a peaceful pro-nationalist demonstration in Barcelona is all part of ETA's campaign? God, I feel so stupid! If I'd known that I was effectively donating rifles and explosives to ETA by marching for the right to decide in Barcelona, I would never have done it. (Actually, I would… it's an open secret among those of us who live in Catalonia that when ETA set a bomb, or kill a policeman, or extort money, or make their silly addresses, we all have a big party in Plaça Sant Jaume, and no Spanish people are allowed to come, in fact we taunt them about it).

So Isabel's got a bee in her bonnet about ETA, about Catalans and about March 11th. Whoa! Hold on! That March 11th?! That famous ETA attack, remember? Isabel remembers Angel Acebes' words from the 11th and 12th of March very well. He did insist that it looked like ETA were responsible. But Isabel!! It came out afterwards that he was lying! Yes that's right, sweet and sexy Angel lied to the entire country. And to the Basque country and to Catalonia too (because, perversely, their citizens were allowed to vote in the Spanish election!).

Finally, I just have to draw attention to a couple of claims about the PP (whoops I mean AVT) demo in Madrid over the weekend. there were not a million and a half people there. You'd be lucky if there fifty thousand. Seriously, Isabel: LAY OFF THE CRACK. OR GET PROFESSIONAL HELP.

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Tony Parsons - One man's assault on reason

Tony Parsons is a man. He's a hard man - tough, uncompromising and incisive, thick even - and he doesn't care who knows it. Every few days (I'm not sure that frequency ought to worry us), Tony Parsons writes a column in the Mirror (possibly the very worst of Britain's generally awful newspapers) in which he complains about how no one really knows anything, except Tony Parsons.

Tony Parsons has tackled such issues as cocaine, blogging and the blocking of Tony Blair's 90 day detention bill. He's not afraid of the big topics. The big. Issues. If you will. His approach is a classic example of the music journalist who accidentally stumbled into a cushy job. His persona: hard man, tough, uncompromising. Parsons. Tony BLOODY Parsons. His columns: complete BLOODY rubbish.

The latest column that Bloody Parsons has written starts off by saying that he doesn't know how long the police should be able to hold a suspected terrorist, and that he doesn't want some stuck up journalist, politician or (God forbid!) pundit telling him how it should be. he then tells us how anyone who opposed the 90 day bill is trying to deny British people the right to defend themselves. Tony BLOODY Parsons.

Every column I've ever read by Bloody Parsons seems to be poorly written and diametrically opposed to every value I hold to be true. We all like to moralise from time to time, but reading Parsons's moralising is like being stabbed in the head by some frozen urine that's fallen out of a plane. His style is perplexing. He's sort of ultra-loyal to Tony Blair (the only man in England who still is?) - and hates anyone who disagrees with him (especially Cherie Booth, QC). He is a pompous ass and a bloody nuisance.

This is my Bloody Parsons column for the day. I'll be back with another soon, as long as I don't implode with fury before then.

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Government defeated over 90 day detention - will Blair resign?

Clearly, MPs heeded my warnings over the 90 day detention issue! Will Blair resign now? I wish he would.

Posted earlier:

I am a British Citizen. I had a vote in the last election (well, it never actually arrived, but it's the thought that counts)… so I feel that I must compel the many hundreds of MPs reading this blog now, not to vote in favour of the governement's plan to extend detention-without-charge to 90 days. It's a mistake! It'll only cause more terrorists to be created! You can't just hand the Police any old powers they ask for! Please, Tony Blair, at least pretend you're not pushing us into an Orwellian mystery world!

1745 today my time sees the Commons vote on this vital issue. The stage is set. People against the 90 day ban are being called 'complacent' and even 'cowards'. As the Guardian says, if passed, this law will represent the most controversial assault on civil liberties in decades. If the law is passed, the Police will start using it on anyone they can (see current anti-terrorism legislation), and they will suddenly have ninety days to detain people while they 'find' evidence enough to charge people. This has to be resisted.

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Are you thinking what we're thinking?

Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sparked international shock and controversy this week by calling for Israel to be 'wiped out'.

His words - while not unusual among neo-Nazis or Islamic fundamentalists - have done much to confirm Ahmadinejad's position as a premiere league nutcase, but they've also opened up a couple of interesting points.

At work I was surprised by how some colleagues took the president's speech. Perhaps they're right, and this is far less significant than I consider. But perhaps there's also the sneaking anti-semitism one comes across every week seemingly. On Sunday I heard a little bit from one of Gemma's friends too.

It's often reported that anti-semitism is on the rise in Europe and I think that's probably true. So is 'Islamophobia' (problem here: Palestinians are also a semitic people, but the issue becomes far too complicated when that's recognised). Perhaps it's because people just aren't educated enough. I was surprised to learn that my sister who is studying a GCSE in Religious Education will learn about Judaism at school, but only as one of the two religions they'll cover. The other is Christianity. So she does learn about Israel, but in turn learns nothing about Islam. In other schools, it's the other way around.

It's not for me to explain the intricacies of the Israel-Palestine conflict, the special status of the Jews or the fact that Israel is a completely different idea to 'the Taleban'. Some people won't listen to sense even if it bites them on the ass, and I can't be bothered to waste my breath. But I will say this: when racism of any sort is on the rise, it's nothing that's worth trying to be clever about. Racism whether against Jews, Palestinians, Americans or whoever is always wrong, never funny, and never minor. It's the culmination of the most detestable thoughts in mens' minds, and it should be fought at all times.

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Bloc Party Dull Shocker

As if you couldn't tell from their boring music, Bloc party reveal in an exclusive interview with the Guardian today just how dull they really are! Moaning about the kids having too much fun sums up the attitude of these 'technical rockers' - the bands out to complete the destruction of rock'n'roll music.

Indie music has a lot to answer for - dull meaningless songs about cleaning your shoes, droney wet sods complaining about the rain, nihilistic bank clerks denying themselves - and Bloc Party (along with Franz Ferdinand) represent the lowest ebb of indie music. Pure as the driven snow patrol, a bunch of nice boys with nothing to say and saying it quietly. I will never comprehend how people can get excited about this music. The only polite way to explain it is that other people work much harder than me and therefore cannot afford to invest the same energy as I have. It's easier reading the NME.

==

Edit: I make no apologies for my taste, but I fully respect anyone's right to enjoy any kind of music they choose. This is my blog after all.

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