"The bus is full"

Noel Edmonds has made a new play in his "biggest wanker ever" campaign. Now neck and neck with Jeremy Clarkson (no relation), Edmonds has called for immigrants to be thrown out and the UK's borders closed. According to the News Of The World:

“We can all go down the pub and go, ‘Oh it’s terrible, all these immigrants.’ But what are we going to do in Britain to change this toxic culture if we don’t say, ‘Enough is enough.’

“If I was Prime Minister for a day the first thing I would do would be to close the border.

“Then we could work out how many people we’ve got here.

“Then you get people out who have committed crimes and you look at others who shouldn’t be here. Nobody knows how many people we’ve got here.”

Indeed. I avoided the boycott of TeleCinco for their anti-Catalan stance because I'm not that keen on boycotts. But Noel "cunt" Edmonds has made me rethink my position. "Noel's HQ", the wanker's new vehicle, will be avoided at all costs. Well, it would have been anyway, but now I won't even tune in to see if he kills another guest.

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September 14, 2008 | Filed Under Politics, UK, tv | 1 Comment 

Things I'm crap at #1 Remembering characters' names

There are many things I'm crap at. From political predictions to basic plumbing, I'm crap at it.

Today's edition is particularly poignant as it ruins conversations all the time. Whether it's talking about Bonfire of the Vanities or Nighty Night, I can never, ever, remember the characters' names. Watching The Wire (the best TV show ever - and more on that later) - I can, of course remember MacNulty and Stringer Bell. But I regularly forget Marlo's, Herc's, Carver's and Rawl's names. (No spoilers here… except perhaps finding out that Marlo takes over in a reign of murders is a spolier).

The same applies to literature. I rack my brains to remember the main characters' names in The Corrections or Hamlet (well, except the obvious ones). I forget Bukowski's rich girlfriend's name, I forget the names of Socrates's opponents…

I believe that this might be connected to my terrible memory for both faces and names… a double affliction which has forever rendered me awkward or overly-friendly at society events.

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June 7, 2008 | Filed Under Crap, tv | 1 Comment 

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