Today was Kings’ day (Epiphany) and according to Catalan (and Spanish?) tradition, we ate some Tortell de Reis (Kings’ Cake). This cake is magical because it contains two secret ingredients, a bean and a king. They are packaged carefully and hidden in the cake. The person who finds the bean in their slice of cake is supposed to pay for the cake, while the person who finds the king is deemed to be king for a day. This was the second year running that I’ve been lucky recipient of the piece containing the king.

As a staunch republican, you might expect me to reject the king status and propose, say, a people’s committee to oversee activities for the next 24 hours. And I did think of that. But in truth, I feel that the best way to spread ill feeling about the monarchy is by acting badly while holding the title ‘king’. So I intend to act as despot for the next 24 hours, as a warning to those who would accept a king as their master. And if the message doesn’t get through, I might have to extend my rule by a day or two. For their own good, you understand.