Category Archives: Spain

What’s wrong with being politically correct?

Spain

I’m more than a little tired of hearing Spanish friends refer to passers by as ‘el negro’, ‘un moro’ ‘la sudaca’ or ‘un paki’, usually followed by an unwanted explanation of why political correctness is just a stupid English obsession. Similarly, it just doesn’t fucking wash when you say “It’s not racist, it’s a joke” as you do your hilarious ‘slitty eyed’ Chinese impression.

Spaniards, please understand: political correctness is not some evil trend that’s trying to steal your freedom. It is, as Stewart Lee puts it, “…an often-clumsy negotiation towards a kind of formal linguistic politeness”. Political correctness is not a perfect thing, but it is a good thing.

And the truth is, I think you really know this already. It’s suggested by the way you feel the need to endlessly justify your racist jokes and your clumsy stereotypes. Just stop it.

Some Questions for a Catalan Independentist

Catalonia, Politics, Spain, , , , , ,

In just over a week, many Catalan towns will hold ‘consultaions’ about Catalan independence. These consultations (consultes) take the form of a mock referendum. They’re not legally binding in any way, and voting in them is so open that even I can join in! The thing about these consultations is that they do make it feel (however superficially) like Catalonia is starting to seriously consider its status as part of Spain. The organisers and political groups involved are certainly keen to make it look like that, at any rate.

On this blog, I’ve been careful to avoid a categorical endorsement of Catalan independence for many reasons. So I decided to ask some open questions to anyone interested in answering them. And you don’t have to be in favour of Catalan independence to take part: if you think you’ve got a point to make, make it. I plan to do something similar directed at opponents of independence over the next few days. Feel free to answer whichever of the questions you like.

Some questions:

  1. Why should Catalonia be independent?
  2. What exactly do you think will be gained if Catalonia becomes independent?
  3. What model do you see an independent Catalonia adopting? Some sort of republic? How would it be organised?
  4. Do you think that the current crisis is a good time to decide something like this? Why?
  5. What damage do you think this would do to Spain? Do you worry about that?
  6. Is an independent Catalonia an economically viable state?
  7. What should the process be in the result of a vote in favour of independence?
  8. What should be the status of Spanish citizens in Catalonia? Would dual citizenship be allowed?
  9. What about immigrants? Would they become citizens? What would the immigration policy be?
  10. Would you expect all the political parties in Catalonia to break ties with their Spanish equivalents?
  11. What would happen if the EU had trouble accepting Catalonia as a member?
  12. What would happen to Catalan government agencies aimed at trade and business? Would they be absorbed by embassies?
  13. Who would be the head of state? Would you deny Juan Carlos’s claim to sovereignty?
  14. Would the Catalan constitution guarantee the right to receive state services in Castilian Spanish?
  15. How would you deal with people potentially wanting to leave for Spain proper?
  16. What flag would you have? Senyera or Estelada?
  17. What would happen to utilities like the phone/data system?
  18. What sort of rights would be included in the constitution anyway?
  19. How would you deal with other parts of the ‘Catalan Countries’? Would you seek their absorption?
  20. How important would the status of FC Barcelona be? Do you think the Spanish league would still have them?
  21. Would you bother with armed forces? If so, how?
  22. What would happen if there was a Spanish boycott of independent Catalonia?
  23. What would happen if there was a Spanish military response?
  24. Can a constituent part of an EU and NATO member even declare independence?
  25. Would you demand that companies trading in Catalonia establish separate entities in Catalonia? How?

And that’s enough for now. I know that I’ve asked a lot of questions. But these are just some of the questions that will be asked should Catalonia approach a genuine referendum.

So, what do you say?

Spanish democracy needs Garzón

Spain

Crusading judge Baltasar Garzón was temporarily suspended by the supreme court in Madrid yesterday. I say temporarily but the truth is that this could be a suspension that lasts for good. Garzón, a champion of human rights law around the world, is the victim of a lawsuit that pits Spain’s old guard judiciary and far-right wing against those who seek to bring old crimes to justice. Spain, it seems, is incapable of accepting nuance in law when it comes to the responsibilities of judges investigating crimes committed here in Spain.

The fact that there’s a clear campaign against Garzón, led by Spain’s right wing, including the PP, makes this case even more dangerous. What’s at stake isn’t just the career of one judge.

The choice for Spain’s supreme court is simple: apply a law imposed by fascists or accept a nuance demanded by democracy.

The PP’s racism in Badalona is no surprise

Catalonia, Politics, PP, Spain

So the PP has been forced to apologise for its revoltingly racist campaign material which included suggestive messages like “We don’t want Romanians”. The PPC’s leadership has exclaimed that it doesn’t support this kind of filth, stating “crime doesn’t have a nationality”.

Well, yeah, but it can’t have come as a surprise that the PP in Badalona would try to run this as their main campaign point. They’re after the seething racist vote which is a vote you’ve really got to go out and fight for. Anyway, they were getting in trouble for this kind of thing a year ago.

Same old PP.

[Note: other parties are capable of this kind of crap. But the PP seem to be linked to it a lot more than anyone else]

A judge indicted – I support Baltasar Garzón

Politics, PP, Spain

I’ve been away from blogging for a while. I’ve not lost interest but I do feel like it’s never the right time, or I never have the right time, to express myself properly. This post, being written on Tuesday night, should appear on the site at 1000 Wednesday, in association with other blog posts defending Spanish judge Balatasar Garzón who is about to face prosecution for knowingly undertaking investigations outside of his jurisdiction.

I’ll start off with two frank admissions. Firstly, I’m no legal expert. Like many others, I do my best to understand and follow the intricacies of various aspects of law connected with my work and with subjects that interest me. This case obviously falls into the latter category. Secondly, I wouldn’t call myself Garzón’s number one fan. The man strikes me as something of a pompous ass so I’m not writing to try to defend his character. That’s OK, though, because a question of law shouldn’t be framed as a question of debating a man’s politics or hairstyle.

Baltasar Garzón is a prosecuting judge in Spain’s top criminal court, the Audiencia Nacional. He’s world famous for his – sometimes successful – attempts to bring dictators and agents of dictatorship to justice for their crimes against humanity. I first heard about him when his court issued an arrest warrant for General Pinochet, leading to that man’s arrest in England. Pinochet was later released because of ‘medical conditions’ he later seemed to recover from. Margaret Thatcher made a big show of having him over for tea, proving a disdain for democracy and decency some had only guessed at.

Garzón also investigated multiple cases in Spain, including the PSOE government’s GAL ‘contra’ group in the ’80s and corruption in the huge BBVA bank.

More recently, Garzón turned his attention to the various crimes committed by Spain’s fascists during the civil war and the dictatorship that followed. He announced that he considered the ‘disappearance’ of well over 100,000 republicans to be officially crimes against humanity. It is this legal position that has resulted in Garzón being indicted for exceeding his jurisdiction. The events he wanted to investigate are covered by a 1977 act of amnesty, a legal instrument that was enacted as Spain took its first steps towards democracy – under the constant threat of yet another fascist coup.

It is important to note here that this is not a case brought by the judiciary itself, or by the police. Rather, it is more like an English private prosecution, brought by the far-right wing ‘trade union’ Manos Limpias – essentially a fascist defence group which has attempted such action against Garzón around twenty times before (according to Wikipedia).

The reason I support Garzón in this case is simple: I don’t accept that the 1977 amnesty should be legally binding for crimes against humanity or genocide. I don’t accept that it should apply to any crimes, especially not after the end of the Spanish civil war. My understanding is that there is a significant opinion in Spain’s legal community that international law can – and must – supercede local laws when dealing with what are considered to be international crimes. This is what has happened in other countries: it would be madness to allow anything else to happen.

It is my belief that the charges levied at Garzón in this and in two other lawsuits are entirely politically motivated. I don’t think that Garzón is a saint, or that he’s incapable of doing wrong. I do, however, fear for Spain’s democratic future if this right-wing attack on justice is allowed to succeed. Spain’s history needs to be investigated and until another judge comes along who has the courage to do it, Garzón is our only hope.

thebadPoll: The worst place in Spain

Polls, Spain

This is a slightly different way of running a poll. I’m not going to offer any choices. Instead, I’d like you, gentle reader, to nominate the municipality, region, village or other place which you consider to be the worst place in Spain*. Maybe it’s hideously ugly… maybe it’s just utterly tacky. Share your loathing!

What’s more, if you can’t narrow it down to one, you’ll get bonus uselessPoints(TM) for naming and shaming multiple places!

__

*And for the sake of clarity, ‘Spain’ means whatever the Spanish government in Madrid says it means. So yes, you can choose Barcelona if you like.

Why are PP members so effin’ rude?

Politics, PP, Spain

The other day, our esteemed former Presidente del Gobierno – and honorary president of the PP, José María Aznar, visited the university of Oviedo in order to sell some of his FAES stuff. The students of said academy responded to the man’s visit by waving banners and calling him a war criminal. Señor Aznar’s response was that employed by all gentlemen of the world: he gave them the finger (‘the bird’, as our American friends would have it).

Aznar salutes the students of Oviedo
Aznar salutes the students of Oviedo

Now, if you’ve ever read this blog before, you may have determined that there’s very little love lost between your humble host and that twat, Aznar. In case you need convincing, here’s my analysis of the man: He’s a slimy, post-fascist scumbag who did nothing for Spain other than bring about our current economic situation; a small, disgustingly self-important, right-wing tosser with a shit-eating grin and a ridiculous moustache.

But this isn’t just about Aznar. It does seem that Spain’s right wing are just generally rude. Look at the ‘king’, with his “Why don’t you shut up?” diplomatic manoeuvre. Then there’s Esperanza Aguirre and Ignacio Gonzalez, a right pair of hijoputas. What’s wrong with these people? It all lends support to my theory that the most impolite people you’ll generally encounter in life are right-wingers. We on the left generally opt for more intelligent criticism.

A Congressional Gold Medal Don’t Come For Free

PP, Spain, ,

Now, this is just hilarious: former Spanish PM (and generally, like, my #1 favourite guy), José María Aznar, is under investigation after a group of lawyers alleged that his government spent public money lobbying for him to be awarded the USA Congress’s Gold Medal. The allegation has been around for about four years but only now is the Spanish judiciary really looking into it.

Aznar’s quest for gold failed, incidentally. He did, however, manage to arrange for the Spanish people to pay for his daughter’s wedding. Well, someone had to, I suppose.

In Support Of The True Fiesta Nacional

Spain, , , , , ,

One of Spain’s greatest and oldest cultural traditions is in danger of dying out completely because of EU legislation. The European laws, designed to protect citizens’ ‘liberty’ were introduced without a moment’s thought about the impact they’d have on this crucial feature of Spanish culture. I am, of course, talking about Spain’s true Fiesta Nacional.

Ever since the 1st century BCE, Spaniards have enjoyed the spectacle of gladiators locked in combat, fighting until one (or ideally all) of them dies a heroic death. Indeed, recent evidence proves that a Spaniard was himself the very bravest of Rome’s gladiators – he killed a nasty emperor and temporarily saved the empire from something.

But all this is now under threat – because of a bunch of killjoy lawmakers obsessed by destroying Spanish culture. EU legislators introduced so called ‘human rights legislation’ many years ago, but it is these laws that might now be used to stop us from enjoying one of the great cultural pursuits this country has to offer. And the sad thing is that this could all be prevented if the do-gooders understood that live gladiator fights aren’t really about men killing each other for the enjoyment of a crowd of baying monsters. You see, gladiator fighting is about so much more than that.

For those who haven’t yet had a chance to enjoy the spectacle of a gladiator fight, I’m going to explain a little of what makes it so special. First of all, there’s the amphitheatre it’s held in: these grand stadia have their roots in Roman architecture and are designed so that wherever a viewer sits, they can see the action. Amphitheatres used to litter Spanish cities like discarded sunflower seed shells, but now only a few remain. It’s worth remembering that Barcelona had loads of the places, while Madrid (which didn’t exist when the Romans occupied Spain) had none. Why that’s worth remembering, I’m not sure… but remember it, OK?

Next up is the sense of ceremony that surrounds the whole event. The gladiators are held in a sort of pen just before they’re released into the arena, and when they appear in their beautiful costumes, you can almost believe you’re watching ballet rather than deadly combat. Actually, I’m not sure about that: ballet exists as a way of interpreting violence, passion and the human experience by way of dance. Gladiatorial combat interprets violence by way of goading men to murder each other. But it’s still quite full of movement, I suppose.

The deaths, while certainly not the focus of gladiatorial combat, are really cool! Some of the best gladiators can make a rival’s suffering defence last for up to an hour, drawing the process of killing their opponent (which is not the main focus of the fight at all) into what seems like a true fight between equals. Of course, the truth is that the professional gladiators always win because their competitors, dumb and useless beasts that they are, are often drugged, underfed and tortured prior to the main event. Well, you wouldn’t want the star to die, would you?! Anyway, the death isn’t even the most important bit.

The most important bit is… everything. Of course, everything is geared in a way that it climaxes in the death… but that doesn’t mean it’s just about killing. You can buy an ice cream from the little man who sells them… and if he stands in the way of a good killing, just tell him to get the fuck out of the way. Because the death, while not the most important bit, is a moment so wholly Spanish – so ancient and lovely – that you really shouldn’t miss it. Yes, the death is not the most important part of the gladiator fight. It’s the killing.

Oh and, before you bring it up, no we really don’t see the killing as cruel. I mean, most of these guys are losers and criminals anyway. Sure, they’re doomed to die terrified but imagine how they’d feel if they caught lung cancer from second hand smoke. That’d be a much worse way to go… so you see, they’re really the lucky ones.

Can we really afford to lose this ancient, lovely and cool spectacle? To me, it seems self-evident that gladiatorial combat is above silly modern notions like ‘humanity’ or ‘law’. Clearly, amendments should be made to this legislation to ensure that future generations can enjoy the killing with their own eyes? As has been pointed out, these fights exist: it’s up to the opponents of gladiators killing each other to prove why it’s suddenly wrong.

So, dear reader, I call on you to . Together, we can preserve barbarity in these perplexing times.